Complacency/ Self Sabotage
WHAT IS COMPLACENCY?
Complacency sounds like this, now that everything is better I can stop doing the things that made my life better in the first place.
Like a person that suffers from depression, once they start taking anti-depressants they start feeling better. The depression lifts and they start thinking, well I’m not depressed anymore so do I still need to take these pills every day?
What makes no sense is it’s the pills that are helping lift the depression so why would you stop?
The same can be said for early recovery. There are certain key routines and structures in place that assist with recovery. Fellowship meetings, continued therapy with a counsellor, engaging in new activities, working the 12 step program and in my personal experience understanding the real meaning of Step One.
If the phrase “I’ve got this, I’m in control” keeps coming up, you best be ready for the storm. The moment you take control back and believe that you are the power that guides your own recovery, you are in trouble. The minute control becomes the issue, it has cancelled out the true meaning of steps 1-3. If you are in control you are no longer powerless, if you are in control you no longer need a power greater than yourself to guide you, lastly if you are in control you no longer need to hand your will and your life over to God.
You have become your own Higher Power once again and we all know where that leads.
Complacency can also fall into spiritual beliefs. A wise friend told me that I’ve been feeding off the spiritual awakening I had in Step 1 – 5. I was working through the freedom I gained in step 5.
I agreed, it didn’t seem like a problem to me. Then he went on to say; what happens when you’ve worked through it all?
I had no answer.
He continued, the key to long term freedom/recovery is to feed the experience, not feed off the experience. New challenges, new experiences and a new way to live are important. Asking questions, reaching out to people you know will guide you in the correct way is a must. Choose people who hold more than what you want. Assess the level of honesty and integrity they have. Here are some questions you might ask;
Are they really going to challenge you as a person?
Are they living life in a way that promotes recovery and further growth?
Do you see in them the life you want for yourself?
Are they walking the talk?
If you have found a group of people that are living life in the manner that is suggested, then take a risk, approach them. Ask how they do it? What drives them? How can you start to live life correctly?
Years of destruction create certain patterns that need to be broken in order to live a life of quality and value. Find those who have done it before you, work with them.
Feed your freedom.